Me, myself and I – The way that we experience ourselves affects our health

I had an EEG-scan with esteemed psychoneurology researchers. They checked how my brain works, which was very interesting. I received results which helped me to understand myself better. I also received a meditation program that was optimized for my brain.

After the procedure I had a really interesting talk with the Fingelkurts brothers (the researchers are identical twins). They told me about their research of the structure of consciousness and cognition. They have also studied the way people see and feel and identify themselves.

They compared the results to people’s health and found out that the way people feel about themselves is strongly linked to well-being and health.

The researchers pictured the structure of self identification to have three parts. All of us have these three parts, but the emphasis of the parts has an impact on well-being.

The three parts are named Me, I and Self. Every body has the three, but what matters most is the emphasis.

1. The I 

If a person has a strong “I”, they perceive themselves through their story. When asked who they are, these kind of people tell a story about themselves, their past experiences, their family history, their medical history or a story of their successful winnings. They also feel that they are that story. That means that they find their sense of being, their identity, in a story that they tell themselves and to others.


  • My childhood was this and that, and this is why I’m like this
  • I’ve studied this and that, I’ve been working on this and that.
  • As a person I’m like this and I like this and that and hate these and them things.
  • Because someone did this and that to me, I’m like this and that
  • Because my environment is like this, I’m like this and react this way
  • You may look at my social media accounts to find out who I am from my shared posts
  • I am Finnish, American, hispanic, etc
  • I’m catholic, buddhist, atheist, skeptic
  • I’m straight / gay / lesbian / trans etc.

It doesn’t matter what the content of these stories is or if these stories are neutral, positive (“I am a wife and a mother”, “I’m from a famous family and admired by others”. I’m a world champion”.) or negative (“I don’t have a job and I’m dumb”. “I’m the victim of my situation”.), because the essential thing is to identify with the story. The thing is that these stories are constructions of the mind.

The person who identifies with the story is more likely to make themselves a victim, to perpetrate, to look for differences from themselves and others by criticizing. The person who identifies with the story is also predicting situations: if I do this, this is going to happen. The person who identified has their head full of thoughts going around. It can take years or a whole lifetime and still that person doesn’t acknowledge their mind going around in their head.

Retrospectively, my “I” used to be very strong. As a kid I used to tell new people everything about my odd family and relatives. I felt I was the result of that story. On the other hand during my fertility treatments I felt I was a gloomy story about infertility and the pain associated with it. The environmental sensivity that I suffered from was also linked to identification. I explained my whole history to everyone and all possible situations that had led to my body being weaker to normal environmental factors. I also told myself (and others) a story about the dangers of environmental factors. 

2. The Me – The body

The second part of self identification is “me”. The part of our contious mind who identifies with their body. This kind of person feels like their body. Just like before, it is not relevant if the person perceives their body as neutral, positive or negative. The relevant thing is to identify with the body. A person who identifies with their body can, for example, say and do things such as:

  • I get tattoos, because they tell “who I am”
  • I’m my scars. My scars say who I am
  • I always recognize myself as myself when wearing make-up
  • I am myself when I wear clothes like this (hipster, hip-hopper, grandma, goth, rocker, business-person, boho, etc.)
  • I’m a trimmed and a fit body, my body fat is 2%
  • I want to look like a barbie
  • I’m fat
  • I’m skinny
  • I’m hurting my body, because then I feel myself
  • I have asthma/diabetes, my body is hypersensitive (the disease/impairment doesn’t matter)
  • I’m a biohacker and extremely interested in health, diet and everything else related body. My vitamin-D level is this and this and that’s why I take calcium and potassium and breadfruit extract.
  • I treat my skin every morning and night because I don’t want to see myself get old
  • I’m a woman / man / gender-fluid, agender, etc.

These are only examples. The essential thing is that if the Me part of your mind is strong you identify yourself with your body’s outer image. I is not important if you identification is positive or negative.

What is the option for for the I and Me?

3. Self

Researchers told me the following: Self -me is the witness. It is always present, even while under the influence of narcotics or if we have a mental episode where “we lose our minds”. Self is the part that can state “Now I’m thinking”. On the other hand, self doesn’t speak inside the head, self is the silence of the mind.

Self is the part of our body and mind that experiences our body from within. For the self there are no stories to tell or roles to play.

According to the brain researchers the people, who have a weaker self than I or me, are less happy and suffer more from physical an mental problems. Instead the most physically and mentally healthy people have a dominating ”self”.

Self can experience the reality:

  • At this moment, this body
  • At this moment, bodily sensations
  • At this moment, a thought
  • At this moment, a feeling

Therefore, Self is always present. And its presence is talked about everywhere. But it is not enough, if one doesn’t understand all of this first. One can be present even while identifying with their body or mind, which is not the kind of presence that promotes well-being.

Even until today, a voice has been going on in my head all the time. Only after the Free to Heal – method I achieved moments and even hours later on when I didn’t think at all. Finally I understood that I am that silence, the life that bears witness. It has also been proven that meditation and mindfulness exercises strengthen the “self”.

There’s nothing right or wrong in having a strong I and Me -experience. However if the target is well-being, we should pay attention to this. According to researchers people who’s Self is stronger than the other parts are healthier physically and mentally. But luckily we have the power to change this. Through certain exercises we are able to recognize and stop the aspirations of I and me. I will show you some really effective exercises for strength the Self on my Online Course.

1 Comment

  1. Andrew

    Two new scientific studies related to Self-Me-I was recently published:

    Everyone may measure its own Self-Me-I at BM-Science Centre (



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